Eyes Are Not Mouths (And I Don't Have Money).

Blaike Gillshaw, 12/06/2025

befmakes.com

Eyes don't have mouths. That's a fact. Most likely for a lot of creatures, but even more likely for most humans. In this context though, i mean it as a metaphor.

Recently, I've been thinking about my practice and the frustrations i have with the changes of shape it's taken in the past couple of years. It's a evolutionary set of changes to make sure it still fits into my life now but that's not to say i don't miss, or sometimes mourn, what it used to be. Massive, complicated ideas that consumed me for days, weeks and months. That filled walls and gallery spaces and were rocket ships, not lava lamps.

Often times, especially when i find myself in this trudging questioning of my practice i think about other creative practices and this time i was thinking about baking. My partner's sister bakes all the time, and is pretty good at it too. She bakes for her family and her friends, for their celebrations and just for fun, for herself. I miss that, and i admire it and if I'm being honest. I'm probably a tiny bit jealous of it. Growing up i used to bake a lot, especially if i was bored at the weekend. there are so many brilliant parts, it's very good for the brain. With baking, the structure is very clear and so is the purpose and the lifespan.

You start off by collecting the ingredients, measuring them out and combining them. (Yes, i am about to mansplain very loosely the gist of how to bake but stick with me.) Then you bake them for a pre-determined amount of time (more or less). After that you have some freedom in how you want to decorate and you can play around with that. You get an outcome that yes, can look pretty and be photographed but also that has a wider purpose and experience. Eating. This can be shared by most people and - unless something goes quite wrong - enjoyed by most people too. Then maybe the most satisfying part... the whole thing disappears. chomped away by hungry mouths.

I'm not saying that baking is easier either, it is a science and i have baked my fair share of non-edible things and ugly looking things. But it feels different to me, than 'art' in a way I'm finding hard to articulate.

The thing about other non edible forms of art is that it's just there. It's always there. Eyes still get hungry and need to feast on beautiful, complex, junk foods, whole foods and previously un-imagined 'foods' but as hard as they try, eyes just aren't mouths. They can't satisfyingly devour the work and leave you with a compliment and a blank slate to start making from again.

The nuances of art and all the space for questions and debate is fantastic and i do love it. but sometimes i wish it was as easy as making your cake and eating it.

The lifespan of art... wait, maybe this is just everything when it becomes monetized. You would have a lot of similar struggles if you started a bakery rather than being a home-cook. How to package it, how to preserve it. How to market and reproduce and showcase. Maybe that's the real issue.

Maybe the real issue is just money. The parts of art i love are the conceptualization and realization of a big, complicated idea and then having the time and the space to share that with people in a gallery space. But, like other hobbies, you have to finance it yourself. So, there's a certain point when a hobby becomes an investment and you have to decide wither you want to keep it like that. An investment. Or, if you'd rather turn it into a business and generate a profit to maintain your participance in the thing.

Maybe the real problem isn't that eyes are not mouths. But more so that i do not have money.