The Sun Is Full Of Souls That Keep Us Warm.

30/6/2026

Blaike Gillshaw

My great grandmother passed away when I was in primary school. At the time, I felt sadness but not confusion. She went to Heaven because that's where I got taught that dead people went. Simple.

By the time I was in secondary school things felt more complicated than that. I'd experienced new things, new people, and things that were less than ideal. I'd also realised I 'wasn't straight' and that added questions around ideas I'd grown up being told.

I went to a Christian primary school and I listened to the stories, but to me they were just stories. Things I let wash over me because that's where I existed. In amongst a place that told stories. My understanding of religion now is a little different. I slightly envy people who believe in any religion and want that for myself, but I've never found it and that's okay.

My grandfather passed away when I was at secondary school and this time I was sad and confused. I was a lot sadder. My great grandmother died of old age, very old age - over 100 years old in fact. That felt understandable and as ways to die go, it felt kind. When my grandfather died, he was killed by cancer which is very much not kind. I didn't know where my grandfather went because I didn't believe in Heaven anymore. I also didn't have a belief that filled the gap but 'nowhere' didn't seem like an answer to the question of 'where do we go when we die?'.

One day, in the middle of a boring assembly, whilst my grandfather was alive but dying, we were all cross legged in the sports hall and the sun was glaring through the window. It was right in my eye. No matter which was I moved, it seemed to still be hurting my eyes. Sidebar, when i get frustrated I switch my brain to optimism mode TM because I find it's more annoying to be in a bad mood than it is to just wipe the slate clean sand try again.

With that in mind, in this assembly, I was daydreaming, with the monotonous drone of a teacher blurring into the background. I wanted to find a positive reason for the light being right directly in my eye and nobody else's.

I reasoned that when people go to Heaven, the imagery associated with that is they go up into the clouds and find a better place. What if that was partly true? I also knew that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. So what if...

My belief is that when we die, the energy from our bodies floats away into the sky and is drawn to the sun. As such, the sun is a ball of all of the people who have passed away and are using their energy to keep us warm. Sometimes that energy remembers who it was and who it loved and they shine a beam for us. Sometimes that beam gets in our eye.